


If I Could Have A Million Tomorrows

by Yuri4Gwen



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abusive Neil Hargrove, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Billy And Steve's Mom Have A Good Relationship, Billy Comforts Steve, Billy Hargrove Being an Asshole, Billy Hargrove Loves Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy Loves To Call Steve Princess, Biting, Bottom Steve Harrington, Branding (if you squint), Breaking up is hard to do, Crying, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drunk Kissing, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Guilty Steve Harrington, Hangover, Harringrove Week of Love 2021, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by..., Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Manhandling, Marking, Mechanic Billy Hargrove, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Neglected Steve Harrington, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Oblivious Steve Harrington, POV Steve Harrington, Pain, Posion Ivy (1992), Possessive Behavior, Possessive Billy Hargrove, Protective Steve Harrington, Rebellious Steve Harrington, Sad Steve Harrington, Secret Relationship, Semi-Public Sex, Smoking, Steve & Tommy Have A Good Relationship, Steve Harrington And His Mother Have A Good Relationship, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington Loves Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Steve Harrington's Father Being an Asshole, Steve Harrington-centric, Steve's Father's Anger, Steve's Mom Is Very Sick, Supportive Mrs Harrington, Supportive Steve Harrington, Tattoos, Terminal Illnesses, The Harrington's Are Very Rich, The Quarry (Stranger Things), Top Billy Hargrove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:27:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29151216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuri4Gwen/pseuds/Yuri4Gwen
Summary: Steve's mom is the only light in his life whereas his father is an ever-extending looming shadow that traps him in a life that he doesn't want running his family's many businesses in Hawkins. He starts to hang out by the quarry with the kids from the other side of town who he knows his father wouldn't approve of. There he meets Billy Hargrove Hawkins new resident bad boy, who Steve can't help admiring from afar.When he gives Billy a ride home they develop an unlikely friendship that changes both their lives forever.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington/Original Female Character(s), Tommy Hagan & Steve Harrington
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69
Collections: Harringrove Week of Love





	If I Could Have A Million Tomorrows

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Harringrove Week Of Love 2021
> 
> Day Three:
> 
> Prompt: Hurt/Comfort
> 
> My Tumblr for my stories if you want to say Hi [Edith-Moonshadow](https://edith-moonshadow.tumblr.com)
> 
> Un-betaed so please excuse all my mistakes.

Billy Hargrove was so cool Steve thought as he watched him exhale smoke out into the chilly fall air. Steve wasn’t entirely sure why he came down to the quarry a few times a week, he had plenty of invitations to go and do all sorts of interesting things with his friends from school. Yet here he stood shivering slightly huddled close to Betty and Therese drawing heat from the cigarette in his mouth.

It had all started about 5 months ago when he had a stupid argument with Tommy, he could barely remember what it was over but he remembered clearly why it had happened. As his mom grew weaker his dad grew more absent and he had so much unresolved anger within him and that day he chose to unleash a little of the burden onto Tommy. 

Thinking of it now he felt so embarrassed and uneasy about the things he’d said and the hurt look in Tommy’s eyes as Steve had stormed off. He’d apologized later, he’d carried the heaviness of the guilt around in his gut for two whole days before he cracked and went to him. At first, Tommy’s rage had won out but the second Steve mentioned his mom Tommy faltered and they’d never spoken of it again. 

On that day full of contemptuous rage at everything, his life was becoming Steve had run to the quarry where he’d met the girls. He could see them clearly as they smoked and snarled at him for being a poor little rich boy but Steve’s anger knew no bounds that day and whereas with Tommy it had seemingly lost him a friend here it gained him two.

Steve enjoyed their company because they didn’t expect anything from him except for maybe cigarettes and if he was having a bad day they didn’t judge him for it. So he selfishly enjoyed being free from expectations and just wasting some time with them. They both came from Mayfair a tough school that was seen as one step up from juvie over on the other side of town and he had learned in the first few weeks that a lot of kids either from Mayfair or just the tougher side of town liked to hang out by the quarry. He never saw anyone from Sheldrake, the prestigious school his parents spent a lot of money on so he could get the best education. Steve imagined his dad’s face if he could see him now stood in between two bad girls, smoking and discreetly glancing at Hawkins resident bad boy. 

Billy Hargrove hadn’t been in Hawkins for long, he’d moved here from California just under a year ago but he stood out from the crowd. Tall, broad with curly dirty fair hair and intense blue eyes, he exuded a dangerous aura but he secretly excited Steve too. He felt like his life was in a rut, his parents had planned it all out before his birth so he felt more like a train on a track than a teenager trying to figure things out for himself. A little danger seemed like the perfect remedy for a life of boredom.

Betty leaned over and pulled Steve’s hand with the cigarette towards her pink lips, taking a drag as she smirked at him. Steve watched her for a few seconds wondering if she wanted to be alone with him today when he could feel Billy’s eyes on him. Shortly after he’d started hanging out with them, he and Betty had started a relationship of sorts. She’d give him a certain look then Therese would find a way to occupy herself and Betty would lead him to an isolated spot. 

They had only really shared heated kisses to this point but he could feel that she was hungry for more and if he was being honest with himself he felt a little intimidated. He shook himself internally what was he so afraid of? He was attracted to Betty, she was exciting and brave in ways that Steve was not, and he needed to stop waiting around for things to happen, he needed an adventure.

Therese shoved Betty drawing her attention away from Steve. She was smiling and blushing slightly as she whispered to her.

“Your boyfriend’s on his way over.”

Steve was confused until he glanced round to see none other than Billy Hargrove stalking towards them. He panicked slightly, Billy moved like a lion hunting down a wounded gazelle and he could faintly hear the excited whispers of the girls over the rushing in his ears. Billy had seemed very intent on them from afar for a while and he was convinced that he had a thing for Betty. He’d seen Billy staring out of the corner of his eye when he’d been with her on several occasions. Steve could never compete with someone like Billy, he wouldn’t even try so he couldn’t help his heart picking up or the nervous drag he took of his cigarette.

Billy stopped in front of them; he gave the girls a cursory glance before he turned towards Steve.

“Can I get a smoke?”

Steve was a little stunned that Billy was talking to him but he fumbled in his pocket for his packet of cigarettes then held them out towards him in a slightly shaky hand. Billy plucked two from the pack and smiled at Steve before he stuck one between his lips and lit it smoothly with his lighter, he made everything seem so effortless.

“Hey, Billy.” 

Billy held eye contact with Steve for a beat longer before he turned towards the girls with a beatific smile. Steve wasn’t sure which one had addressed him but they both smiled back and moved a little closer like they were being pulled by Billy’s magnetism. Steve couldn’t help being a little impressed, he’d had to prove himself when he’d turned up originally but Billy just had to be himself and they were all over him. He could see the interest written across both their faces as they started to bombard him with useless chitchat in an attempt to hold his attention. Steve took another long drag of his cigarette and decided that it was time he headed home, any second now Betty was going to smile at Billy the way she usually did at him and Billy’s eyes had been wondering over to her for a while. He contemplated telling them he was leaving then realised nobody was going to miss him.

“What about you, Pretty Boy?” 

Steve looked up in shock to see Billy’s smirk and the slight impatient tightening of Betty’s features.

“No Steve’s rich he would never go there.”

She said it with so much authority as though she knew him through and through; he felt annoyance run through him even though he hadn’t been paying attention. Billy laughed softly then nudged him.

“Oh too good for us, huh?”

Steve felt so frustrated that he’d disappeared inside his head again, he’d been doing that too much lately but it was easier to live in a fantasy world, reality had become so painful. Now he was going to either have to wing it or admit that he hadn’t been paying attention, he didn’t know what was worse.

“You know I am.”

Billy’s smile widened and Steve felt proud that he’d impressed him, now was the perfect time to leave before he fucked it all up. He checked his watch just to help reinforce his lie.

“Actually I’ve gotta go.”

“Leaving us so soon?”

“Yeah I’ve got somewhere else to be, I’ll see around.”

He waved goodbye to the girls and nodded at Billy before quickly turning and heading towards his car. Just as he sat in the driver’s seat Billy appeared at his window.

“Can I get a ride?”

Steve was stunned for a moment; didn’t he want to hang out with Betty? He nodded and Billy smiled before walking around and climbing into the passenger side.

“Nice car.”

“Thanks.”

“Your rich daddy buy it for you?”

Steve glanced over but Billy looked easy, friendly even, so he assumed this was just his way of making friends, an unfortunate side effect when you happened to be a teenager with rich parents. Everyone saw the house, clothes, and car and didn’t bother to get to understand the person underneath. Steve just raised his eyebrow in what do you think kind of way.

“You’re Harrington right?”

Steve always dreaded this question especially from kids that hung out at the quarry, as he was never sure what the reaction was going to be when people discovered that he was a Harrington. His grandfather had built up many businesses in Hawkins, he practically built the town himself and he’d passed that business on to his son. This had the unfortunate consequence that many people in town were employed by his father, it didn’t always work out well for Steve. He studied Billy silently for a few seconds, his face was earnest like he’d just asked what Steve’s favourite song was and genuinely wanted to know the answer. Yet there was an intensity to his eyes that both scared and excited him, it was hard to know what was going on in Billy’s mind. He pushed through the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach to answer.

“Yeah.”

Billy just nodded and stretched back in his seat so Steve started the car and drove back towards town.

While Steve drove Billy asked him questions, general getting to know you stuff and Steve found himself answering honestly. He felt a little nervous, as he was desperate to hold Billy’s attention, he wondered if he could see himself would he look just like Betty and Therese back at the quarry. Sitting up a little straighter, leaning in small increments and an eager shine to his eyes hoping that he looked nonchalant. Billy was probably just bored and needed an excuse to leave the quarry and who would turn down a free ride? Steve pulled into his drive and was just about to turn off the ignition when he realised that he’d been completely distracted and had driven Billy to his house.

“Sorry I just auto-piloted it home…”

“It’s cool, I didn’t want to go home anyway.”

Billy stepped out of the car and whistled low when he looked at Steve’s house. Steve followed him out feeling embarrassed by the size.

“You really live in a castle, don’t you Princess?”

Steve bit his lip, even his friends from school were impressed by his parent’s house and they were from rich families themselves, what would Billy think of him now?

“Do you want to come in?”

“Sure.”

Billy walked through Steve’s house looking like he was a child who had found an actual magical castle but was trying to downplay his excitement in case he got thrown out. Watching it happen was a sight to behold and he wanted so desperately to tease him about it but didn’t know if they were at that stage yet. Steve’s dad suddenly appeared in the kitchen, he was dressed in a smart business suit, had a cup in one hand and a briefcase in the other. He gave Billy a sideways glance then nodded at Steve on his way out the door. Steve turned to Billy who was studying him closely as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Business meeting.”

He flew through the tour of the rest of the house and that afternoon had been spent talking, playing video games and hanging out in Steve’s room like a couple of wayward teenagers with nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon.

Billy became a fixture in Steve’s life after that, all his spare time was spent with him and he had come to trust him completely. Billy was an asshole but he didn’t treat Steve the same as other people, either when they found out who his family was or that his mom was sick. Billy treated Steve like an equal, he also allowed him to vent about his life without judgement, he just told it to him straight and he needed that right now. 

Steve’s mom had also taken a shine to Billy he seemed to reinvigorate her, in a way that her medicine hadn’t done for years. She had practically adopted him, they even spent time just the two of them when Steve was busy. Billy had little interest in the quarry and they hadn’t been there in weeks, they spent most of their time at Steve’s house.

Billy didn’t talk too much about his own home life but when he did his voice took on a bitter tone and Steve knew that he wasn’t happy there, he hated when he had to leave at the end of the day and a little sadness entered Billy’s eyes. Steve’s father was barely around which was hard to hide, he always told Billy that his father had business meetings but in reality, he didn’t know where he was just that he wasn’t here with his son and sick wife. It hurt that something else was more important when he’d finally cracked and told Billy he’d told him that it was his father’s loss and one day he’d regret it, Steve wasn’t so sure. 

They were sitting in Steve’s room on a Friday afternoon, they weren’t doing anything interesting just listening to music and silently enjoying each other’s company. Billy rolled over onto his back on Steve’s bed and slid a cigarette between his lips; he looked over at Steve as he lit it. 

“Any plans Princess?”

“Tonight?”

“For the future?”

“Feeling philosophical?” 

“You talk so much about the present I’m just wondering about all the plans you have for the future.”

Steve thought about it for a few seconds, he wasn’t too sure how to answer this question as he found it hard to think about a future without his worries about his mother completely taking over but that felt like too heavy a conversation for such a quiet Friday. He wished he could be more carefree like Billy and just have an adventure, close his eyes and just jump, see where he ended up.

“Not much, I don’t think about the future, what about you?”

Billy closed his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah, I have some ideas.”

“Like?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

Steve laughed.

“I’m older than you.”

Billy opened his eyes again and Steve became hypnotised by their intensity the same way he always did.

“Don’t worry, Baby, we’ve all the time in the world.”

Steve just shook his head, Billy could be weird sometimes like there was something he knew that Steve didn’t and he took great joy in that. Billy suddenly jumped up.

“Can I stay tonight?”

“Sure.”

“Great, do you know where your dad keeps his drink?”

“Yeah, but he’d kill me if…”

“Come on Princess live a little.”

Steve rested his head back against the wall in his room; it felt cool on the heated skin at the back of his neck. He looked over at Billy as he took another swig of scotch straight from the bottle and wondered if he felt as listlessly intoxicated as Steve did. He didn’t drink often; he’d only ever had a couple of beers with Tommy on special occasions like his birthday or Christmas. They had only been drunk once, he had felt so giddy and invincible until the hangover the next day when he wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and die. 

Drinking until you were drunk hadn’t held too much appeal after that especially when their parents had found out. His dad had read him the riot act and Steve thinks he might have secretly enjoyed the attention as it was so scarce from his dad these days if he hadn’t been so ill that it felt like he was on a rickety boat during a storm. He remembered his dad’s face turning white with fury when he’d thrown up on his new expensive loafers. He was surprised that he was still here but there had been one small solace, he spent the rest of the day lying with his mother as she gave him cool refreshing water and cooed over him every time he breathed. He’d been grounded for a month but he forgot about the outside world and spent every spare moment with his mom, just sitting in her room the smell of her medicine imprinting itself on his memory as he listened to her cherished memories of her youth. These days he would sit in her room and listen to her gentle breathing, her days of telling stories behind her but he’d always treasure them deep in his heart.

His mother had lived a full life before illness had confined her to the four walls of her room, she’d always been a beautiful and captivating woman, and she could entrance an entire room with her mere presence. The way she told it his parent’s romance had been idyllic, like a fairy-tale but now she lay slowly dying while his father worried about his business legacy, the one that Steve was supposed to care about. He had little interest in business and his mother’s stories about her youth had made him acutely aware that he was wasting his. Steve was worried that if something didn’t change soon he was going to die of boredom or worse become closed off like his dad.

He looked over at Billy again; his eyes were closed as he laid spread out on Steve’s bed with the bottle of scotch clutched in one hand. His features were soft, relaxed and he didn’t seem like he had a care in the world. Billy seemed like the kind of person who had lived a full life, California had to be more exciting than Hawkins and he exuded confidence and charm. He couldn’t help feeling a little jealous but at the same time confused as Billy could realistically spend his time with anyone, why was he here?

Steve shook himself, he was getting lost inside his head again, weren’t they supposed to be having fun? He downed the rest of his drink, it burned slightly as it went down his throat but when it reached his stomach he felt it twist with giddiness. He looked up to see Billy smiling at him from the bed before he slid down onto the floor and crawled over until he was just in front of Steve. He poured some more scotch into Steve’s glass even as he protested, laughing as he tried to stop him to no avail. Even though they’d both been drinking for a couple of hours now, Steve seemed like he was made out of overcooked spaghetti whereas Billy acted like he was on his first drink. Steve tried to sit up straighter only to lose his balance and end up slightly slouched against the wall.

“How are you still so sober?”

Billy laughed.

“Guess I inherited my dad’s hollow legs, unlike you Princess, you’re a little lightweight.”

“Shut up, we’ve practically drunk a whole bottle that’s not a lightweight, you’re just a secret alcoholic or something.”

The smile slipped off Steve’s face when the words had fully settled in the air and Billy’s face got that far away look to it that seemed kind of sad to Steve. Billy always had a certain aura to him that spoke of danger, adrenaline, someone who had the confidence not to give a fuck what anyone else thought of him. This look was different; he seemed so much younger, uncertain, and scared in a way that made Steve uneasy. He wished he’d kept his stupid mouth shut. 

“If you could do anything, what would you do?”

Steve could hear that he was slurring slightly and he felt a little embarrassed that he seemed to be affected by the alcohol as much as he was but he wanted to change the atmosphere in the room to something lighter.

“I wish I had a car so that I could just go any time I wanted.”

“Back to California?”

Billy smiled softly at him.

“Yeah one day, have you ever been?”

“No.”

“You’d love it, nobody really knows you or cares what you do, and it’s a great place to be free.”

A soft smile had returned to Billy’s face and Steve was glad that he’d managed to brighten his mood but he could feel the alcohol numbing his senses and he was starting to feel a little sleepy.

“What about you, Pretty Boy?”

“Me?”

“Yeah what would you do?”

Steve closed his eyes as he leaned more heavily against the wall, he could feel how loose his tongue had become with drink and he was afraid that he was going to give away too much. He felt a hand gently squeezing his knee and opened his eyes to Billy’s intense stare.

“I wish…I wish I could have an adventure, anything really… my life is all mapped out… I just want to live for me…”

“An adventure huh?”

Steve nodded then Billy leaned closer to him with a mischievous glint to his eye and a smirk on his lips. 

“Have you ever kissed a guy?”

Steve barked out a laugh as he slumped over slightly.

“No.”

“Ever thought about it?”

“No have you?”

Billy leaned in a little closer.

“Yeah, why not?”

Steve felt another laugh bubble up his throat at this strange conversation they were having.

“Anyway, you’re so pretty it would be like kissing a girl.”

Steve shoved Billy and laughed as he fell back against the wall.

“Dick.”

Billy came close again and smirked at him.

“Well...”

“Well, what?”

Billy rolled his eyes.

“Wanna give it a go?”

With all the alcohol numbing his senses Steve was struggling to keep up with this conversation. Billy came even closer still until Steve was hypnotised by the light dancing in his eyes.

“It’s just me and you.”

Steve gave him a dopey smile.

“I know.”

“So you want to try it?”

“What’s the point?”

“Where’s your sense of adventure Princess, I thought you wanted new experiences.”

“I do but...”

Billy’s fingers wrapped around the side of Steve’s neck, they felt strong, grounding, and reassuring. He felt himself being pulled towards Billy and decided that at that moment he was just going to let it happen, he trusted Billy and the alcohol had blunted his inhibitions, Billy was right he needed to loosen up and go with the flow more. He saw the quick flash of Billy’s teeth as he smirked slightly before their lips touched. 

It was soft at first, Billy’s lips were supple, warm and the only real indication that this kiss was any different was the slight scratch of stubble from Billy’s top lip. 

Then Steve felt a little silly, he felt like he was thirteen and sharing his first innocent kiss with Suzy Barrett behind the basketball courts just before summer vacation. He remembered how nervous he had been and even a pep talk from Tommy hadn’t quelled his nerves, he shook the whole way his imagination running wild would she show? Would she laugh? If he did something wrong would she run away? Tell everyone? But she was there with a slight pink tinge to her cheeks and a soft smile and after a few awkward words they had kissed and it had been soft, silly and short. And that had been it.

So Steve started to pull back as he felt he had done what Billy asked when Billy’s fingers tightened causing him to gasp slightly and Billy wasted no time sliding his hot wet tongue into Steve’s mouth. Shock ran from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, as Steve froze not knowing what to do. 

The only person he’d ever kissed with tongue had been Betty but she was a girl he’d known for a few months now and she had always initiated kissing with Steve and he would never admit it but he enjoyed it because having someone’s full attention on him felt good. Plus Betty was pretty with her long chestnut hair and piercing blue eyes, she loved to steal, anything really she’d even stolen from Steve. Her touch was so light that he never noticed until she told him about it later and it secretly thrilled him that he knew someone who his father would never approve of.

Billy bit down on Steve’s bottom lip and tangled his fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck pulling his head back slightly and Steve felt a little thrill thrum under his skin as he felt a moan rumble in his throat. Then Billy started to kiss him more forcefully and Steve became completely lost in the kiss. Before long he was a moaning mess and Billy had him completely pressed up against the wall. Steve had never been kissed like this; he could feel energy running under his skin almost like he was nervous but it felt so good he wanted it to last a little longer. He wondered who Billy was thinking about? He imagined any second now he was going to pull back, laugh quietly then go back to his drink, and for Billy that would be it. Steve wasn’t so sure about himself.

Then Billy ran his other hand slowly down Steve’s body to grab his hip tightly and Steve was feeling so overwhelmed that he moaned loudly then suddenly they were bathed in light and Steve in a moment of panic pushed Billy slightly and he moved back. Steve was shocked to see his reddened mouth and smouldering eyes when he heard his dad’s voice.

“What’s going on in here?”

Steve looked up from his spot against the wall to see his dad’s angry features, his hair was slightly dishevelled, his tie hung loosely around his neck, and in the bright light that now flooded the room he could see dark circles under his eyes. He tried to sit up a little straighter but Billy had turned him boneless with his kiss so he struggled to get his limbs to cooperate as he slid further down the wall. His dad walked further into the room as Billy wrapped an arm around his middle and pulled him into a sitting position.

“Steve?”

“Hi dad, me and Billy were… just hanging out.”

“At this hour?”

“Yeah, mom said it was… ok if he… stayed.”

“Does she know you’re drinking?”

Steve glanced over beside Billy’s leg and saw the forgotten bottle of scotch glinting innocently in the light, he could attempt to deny it and if he’d been like Billy maybe he would have gotten away with it. He knew that the guilt was written across his face as his dad’s features hardened. His dad’s attention became focused on Billy.

“Billy, I think it would be better if you went home.”

Steve tried to protest but his dad shut him up with one angry look and he knew he’d be lucky if he were outside this side of summer. Billy glanced at him and when their eyes met Steve could suddenly feel his sinuous tongue slipping between his lips as he felt his heart beating in his face. The smouldering in Billy’s eyes ignited into a full-blown flame almost as though he could read Steve’s mind. Everything else faded away for a moment and Steve was sure that Billy was going to lean forward and reclaim his lips; he held his breath in anticipation.

“I’ll take you home now.”

His dad’s voice shattered the moment into a million pieces as the tone of his voice brokered no argument as he stood impatiently waiting as Billy slowly gathered his things. 

“See you around, Princess.”

Steve looked up in shock as Billy smirked at him from the doorway as he turned and walked away followed closely by his dad who marched after him with great purpose. Steve felt a great disappointment settle over him and he crawled on shaky arms and legs over and into his bed, his head was filled with many confusing fragments of dreams that night. 

He awoke the next morning feeling like his body was made of lead, his head filled with colourful static and his stomach an angry volcano of acid, as he had a long time ago he went to his mother who gave him water and curled around him when the queasiness came. His mom didn’t have the energy she once did to take care of him and within a day their roles were reversed but Steve wanted to hide away from the world for a few days while he figured out what had happened.

His dad’s anger didn’t abate and any mention of Billy was quickly silenced which seemed to drive a wedge between his parents, his mom thought his dad was being too harsh, he’d been a teenager once as well. For his dad, there seemed to be something deeper than just the drinking as he’d never reacted this way about Tommy and they’d been in a much worse state the time he’d caught them drinking. 

His dad was particularly harsh with his punishment, last time he’d been grounded for a month, which had only really lasted about two weeks before he was hanging out with Tommy as his mom covered for him. This time he was only allowed to attend school then straight home, his dad had phoned every day about thirty minutes after the end of school to make sure he was home. 

If this had happened at any other time Steve would secretly relish the attention, his dad had to consciously think about him at least once a day and take time out of his busy schedule to check on him, that would almost be a dream come true. However he missed Billy more than he ever thought he would, he’d become a bright light in Steve’s dull life and now without him, he felt lonely. It was back to everyone at school treating him as one of the Harrington’s and pitying him due to his sick mother, he hated it.

The only good thing to come out of all this was getting to spend more time with his mom, over the past two weeks since he’d been grounded she seemed a little weaker, there was constant tiredness around her eyes. This angered Steve as his dad could check in with him out of anger but couldn’t check in on his wife. It made him miss Billy all the more as he knew that his mom had found a kindred spirit in him, they were two people who could command attention and had a real zest for life. 

He seemed to recharge her life force by his mere presence and always knew just the right thing to say to help pull her out of the negative headspace she sometimes disappeared into. Steve was happy that they had found each other but he felt a little bitter sting of jealousy that someone else could brighten up his mom’s day when Steve sometimes couldn’t muster the energy himself. He needed to work on his selfishness, Billy made her happy because they were so similar, that was all it was and wasn’t her happiness more important than his feelings?

Another side effect of losing Billy was spending more time with Tommy at school and Steve felt a little guilty that he’d been neglecting him. Tommy took everything in stride as he seemed to equate Steve’s absence as having to do with his mom and he didn’t have the heart to correct him. Tommy was his oldest friend so spending time with him became Steve’s only respite from his life at home and Tommy became a balm for his shattered nerves. 

The end of the week was in sight as they stood outside the school on a chilly Thursday afternoon, Steve should have left ten minutes ago but he wanted to spend a little more time with Tommy as he told him an amusing story about his girlfriend Carol and her drunk dancing at a party last weekend. Tommy was spread out on a cold looking bench as Steve stood beside it wrapped up warm his keys a solid weight in his pocket. 

“How’s your mom?”

“She’s not good.”

Tommy stood up from his place on the bench and walked over to Steve, his features were soft with a little sadness in his eyes. He walked right up to Steve threw his arms around him and pulled him tight into his chest. Steve suddenly felt a little overwhelmed, outside of his mom no one else had touched him since Billy drunkenly kissed him two weeks ago and he didn’t realise until this moment how nice it felt to be held. He squeezed Tommy back and drew strength from him, how solid he felt, the warmth from his body, and the soothing hands on his back.

“I’m so sorry, man”

Steve couldn’t speak he just burrowed his head into Tommy’s shoulder. When Tommy finally pulled back Steve could see what suspiciously looked like small tears in his eyes and he was sure if Tommy looked close enough he’d see the same in his.

“Hey, my mom was asking me the other day where you were, I’m pretty sure she misses you.”

Steve smiled softly, Mrs Hagan had always doted on him possibly because of his mom but she was very sweet, she always made sugar cookies when Steve came over and she always hugged him when he walked into her house and extra hard when he was leaving. It always made Steve feel welcome in a way that he was sure nobody felt in his cold museum of a house.

“Yeah tell her I miss her too but I’m grounded.”

“How much longer?”

Steve sighed.

“I dunno my dad’s super pissed this time, he hasn’t told me how long for.”

“Fuck, just for stealing some of his stash.”

Steve shrugged, he hadn’t told Tommy the whole story, how would he ever explain it? He checked his watch and realised that he only had fifteen minutes to get home. 

“I gotta go, see you tomorrow.”

Tommy pulled him in for another swift hug before Steve ran over to his car hoping he’d beat his dad’s phone call home. 

Friday morning came without much fanfare, for Steve all the days were starting to bleed into each other as everything had become so repetitive. His dad was on the warpath, he’d spent his entire breakfast on the phone practically screaming at his poor assistant and before he’d left under a cloud of unresolved rage he’d slammed his coffee cup down so hard that Steve was sure he’d chipped it. 

He ate his breakfast in silence, he was looking forward to spending a little time with Tommy today before he had to return to his prison for the entire weekend, he didn’t even have anything left to occupy his time, boredom had seen him work through all his homework assignments, read all the books he wanted and he’d exhausted his games which weren’t as much fun on your own. He walked into his mom’s room to say goodbye but she was fast asleep so he just walked silently from her room and left the house. He wrapped his scarf more firmly around his neck against the bite of the frosty air and headed towards his car.

He sat down in the driver’s seat shivering slightly as the cold from the leather seats seeped into his skin when the passenger door was flung open and Billy landed in the seat beside him. Steve’s heartbeat quickened at seeing Billy, several thoughts flew through his mind at once, was his dad still here? Why was Billy here? Suddenly he could feel Billy’s teeth in his lip as he felt a moan in his throat and he couldn’t feel the cold anymore as a nervous sweat broke out on his skin. 

“Hello, Princess.”

Billy smiled at him like everything was normal and not like the last time they saw each other Steve had been made incoherent by having Billy’s tongue in his mouth. He wasn’t too sure how to act, what to say if he should acknowledge that night or pretend it didn’t happen.

“Hi.”

Billy leaned back in the passenger seat, his eyes intent on Steve as he tried desperately to keep it together.

“Plans for today?”

“Uh just school, I’m eh… grounded.”

“Well how about me and you go on an adventure today.”

“I dunno my dad…”

“C’mon Pretty Boy you need to live a little, he’s already pissed what’s the worst that he could do?” 

Steve thought about his dad’s angry voice this morning and the harsh sound the cup made as it collided with the table in his hand. His dad walked around with a lot of anger, he usually took it out on his underlings at work, and he had plenty to choose from. With Steve, the worst he’d ever been was disappointed but for him, that was more painful than any other punishment he could imagine. Watching his father’s eyes grow cold over the past year when he looked at him made Steve feel smaller and smaller until he wondered if he disappeared would his dad even care? He’d probably only be pissed that he had to figure out who to leave his business to rather than it already being determined. That’s all Steve felt like an understudy for his dad’s life.

He looked back at Billy, as usual, he looked like he didn’t have a care in the world with a little teasing smile on his face as he looked at Steve eagerly awaiting his answer. Steve still felt confused about why Billy cared about what he thought or spent time with him at all, what did Steve bring to their relationship outside of the ability to buy things? He scolded himself internally for being so negative all the time, he had shared things with Billy that he didn’t feel comfortable doing with others especially about his mom and he’d always been sympathetic and supportive. Realistically if Billy wanted to hang out with anyone else Steve knew he’d have plenty of offers so he had to want to be here and he was glad that he was, there should be no more to it than that.

“What do you have in mind?”

The sleazy tattoo artist smiled at Steve as he finished applying the stencil and he thought he needed to stop letting Billy talk him into these things. Billy stood in the corner watching over Steve with an intense stare in a haze of smoke as he exhaled from the cigarette dangling from his fingers. His tattoo had been completed first the only indication that it hurt a slight pinching of his features as he smiled and joked with Steve. He’d got a skull with a cigarette hanging from its mouth on his upper arm it’s dark lines stark against his tan skin, simple yet effective. 

Steve had been adamant from the beginning that he wasn’t getting one but Billy had just smirked at him with a twinkle in his eye. Finally, he had convinced him with talk of adventure and Billy wanted something physical like the scars on the palms of blood brothers, a physical forging of their friendship so he reluctantly agreed. A small outline of a crown over where his heart would be, another suggestion of Billy’s but Steve didn't care what it was so long as it was small and he could hide it from his dad, he'd kill him if he found out. 

Billy suddenly appeared behind the tattoo artist and started whispering in his ear, he seemed confused at first but then Billy seemed to reassure him and he smiled and handed him the tattoo gun. Steve started to sit up only for Billy to push him back down by his shoulder. 

"It's ok Princess." 

"Billy no…you don't know what you’re doing.”

"It’s just you and me remember? It’s going to be ok, I promise.”

Steve still wanted to leave but there was a fire burning in Billy’s eyes and he knew that for him that meant trouble. He knew that this whole tattoo thing was important to Billy and the idea of something secret between them that bonded them together thrilled him greatly. He couldn't imagine anyone else in his life that he would want to be here with at this moment. He wanted to be able to see the tattoo on his skin and remember this moment when Billy had given up an entire afternoon to make Steve feel better.

"C'mon Pretty Boy, trust me." 

Those words made Steve trust him even less what if he changed the design completely and Steve had to go the rest of his life explaining to anyone who accidentally saw his chest why he had a dick on it or something worse. Billy leaned over him a little more, Steve felt his fingers flutter over the space where the tattoo would be and he felt those pesky butterflies flutter through his stomach. He bit down hard on his lip then nodded slowly and watched as Billy's eyes lit up even more before they moved to his chest and became hungry and Steve knew he'd made a big mistake before he closed his eyes and said a silent prayer that this all worked out.

The first bite of the needle into his flesh felt startlingly like a bee sting and he took a deep shuddering breath wondering how many times the needle would pierce his skin. Billy placed his other hand just above the space where he was working and Steve felt reassured by its comforting weight. He glanced down to see Billy completely engrossed in what he was doing but from what Steve could see he was following the pre-drawn lines so at least he was taking this seriously.

He let out a deep breath as the stinging faded until it felt more like a tickling sensation then Billy looked up at him and he became lost in his gaze for a few seconds before Billy smiled and focused on his work once more. Steve let out a deep breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, everything was going to be ok and he leaned back trying to relax. 

It had been two weeks since the afternoon when Steve skipped school to go get tattoos with Billy that he finally got to see him again at the quarry. He had been patiently killing time waiting on him arriving by hanging out with Betty and Therese who both seemed pleased to see him and his cigarette stash. As Steve took a draw on his cigarette he felt like someone was watching him and looked up only to see Billy standing across the way. 

Billy stood across the clearing, he was in his usual leather jacket, with his shirt unbuttoned in a way that seemed inappropriate for the still slightly chilly weather and Steve couldn’t see his eyes due to the sunglasses that obscured them but he just knew that Billy was watching him.

Steve felt his skin tingle over his tattoo, like a little frisson of static electricity as he thought about Billy’s fingers fluttering over the unmarked skin and his intense concentration as he brought the needle down over and over. 

For the first few days, he could feel the tightness of his skin, the bandages rubbing against his clothes and he couldn’t help the little tingle of excitement he felt, it was like he had a secret that nobody but him and Billy knew about. He had barely looked at the actual tattoo every time he thought about it he felt like he was sneaking into his mom’s room to sneak a peek at the Christmas gifts she had stashed away. He’d snuck a glance at it before the tattoo artist had covered it up and even though Billy had deviated from the design at the top from what he could see it was still a crown so he felt good about it. 

At the end of that week, his mom had called him into her room and told him that she’d talked with his dad and he was no longer grounded but she implored him to act responsibly. Steve had reassured her as he desperately wanted to be able to see Billy again but he still came home on time all that next week to lull his dad into a false sense of security. 

By the next week, he couldn’t wait any longer but he realised with a little surprise that he had no idea where Billy lived, they had spent all their time either at the quarry or Steve’s house. He had headed to the quarry hoping against hope that Billy would turn up as in the weeks leading up to the incident he hadn’t been too keen on going there. Luckily for Steve, he was here but there was something standoffish about him and he didn’t know whether he should approach him or not.

“Steve?”

He looked round to see Betty standing beside him, she was alone and he looked around for Therese but she was nowhere to be seen.

“Yeah?”

She walked closer to him, placing her hand on his chest on the opposite side to the tattoo but he couldn’t help the slight flinch as her hand settled on him. She stepped up even closer to him and lowered her eyes slightly as she spoke.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I know, I was kinda busy…”

“Want to make up for lost time?”

Steve couldn’t help but glance up at Billy, he was exhaling smoke through his nose, his shoulders were squared and his hip was cocked. Just as their eyes met he threw the end of his cigarette away and stomped off in the direction that Steve always parked his car. He felt a little panic and looked back at Betty, she was smiling tenderly up at him, her eyes were intense but her lips were soft and welcoming. 

“I’m sorry Betty, can I take a rain check?”

Her eyes and lips hardened as she glared at him and took a small step backwards.

“You know what it doesn’t matter, see you around, rich boy.”

Steve just turned and ran in the direction of his car hoping he wasn’t too late.

Steve ran towards his car but when he arrived he didn’t see any sign of Billy and he felt the disappointment settle deep within his stomach. He took one last look around then got into his car letting out a deep sigh once he was seated in the driver’s seat. He hoped if he came back tomorrow Billy would be here but he didn’t know if Betty would let him hang out with her and Therese. Just as he pushed the keys into the ignition he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder making him jump and cry out. His heart was hammering in his chest as he heard Billy’s obnoxious laughter echo through the car from the back seat.

“A little jumpy Princess?”

“Fuck you.”

Billy just laughed harder as he climbed into the front of the car and Steve secretly felt relief that he hadn’t missed him. 

“How’s the ink?”

Steve unconsciously reached for his chest, he hadn’t looked at the tattoo since that day, and he’d just attended to it so it wouldn’t get infected especially because he didn’t trust that seedy place they went to.

“Fine.”

“Let me see.”

Steve felt a little shocked, out here in public? It was supposed to be their little secret what if someone wandered by and saw it? What if word got back to his dad? He’d be stuck in the house until he was at least thirty if his dad didn’t just kill him outright rather than live with the shame.

“What here?”

“Yeah why not, it’s only us here.”

Steve couldn’t help looking around him as though expecting someone to jump out of the bushes at any moment. Billy just smiled at him and moved back into the back seat motioning for Steve to follow.

“C’mon Pretty Boy, nobody will see you back here.”

Steve moved into the back, pulling up his jumper to reveal the still bandaged tattoo but before he could move to peel it back Billy crawled over into his personal space and gripped the edges of the bandage with the tips of his fingers. Steve held his breath as Billy slowly and carefully peeled it back to reveal the black delicate edges of his tattoo. He could feel a flutter in his stomach as the bandage was fully removed and Billy’s hungry eyes became fixated on Steve’s chest. Billy slowly ran his fingers over the lines of the tattoo starting from the bottom and lingering on the rounded lines of the top as his tongue ran over his bottom lip and Steve took a discreet calming breath.

“Looking good Princess.”

“What about you?”

Billy smiled at him then turned to pull off his jacket and roll up the short sleeve of his shirt to reveal his tattoo. Steve could feel his face heat with pleasure as he remembered how he’d felt that day, things had seemed so bleak then Billy had appeared out of nowhere and brightened his whole day. These tattoos were a reminder of how Billy had become a bright light in Steve’s otherwise dismal existence and Billy had been the one who wanted proof of how important their friendship was which made Steve feel more secure in it himself. Earlier this year he never would have believed that Billy Hargrove would ever want to speak to him never mind sit in his car checking out the tattoos that they got together.

Just as he was becoming consumed by warmth something caught his eye, just as Billy turned to say something about his tattoo Steve saw a little purple peeking out from under his sunglasses and without thinking leaned forward and pulled Billy’s sunglasses off.

Billy flinched back as though Steve had struck him just as Steve gasped at what lay underneath. Billy’s eye was partially closed almost as though he hadn’t slept in weeks and was only starting to wake up, his skin reddish-purple in the centre spreading out to a sickly yellow tinge against his tan skin. Steve gently touched just under his eye with his index finger only for Billy to pull abruptly away and turn so that Steve could no longer see his face. An uncomfortable silence filled the space between them, the first one that they had ever endured as friends. Steve could feel panic buzzing under his skin; he needed to say something, anything before this silence completely suffocated them both. He took a deep breath.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The words felt clumsy and heavy in his mouth and Steve cringed just hearing them, he thought about all the times that people had asked him about his mother with a similar tone and how much he hated it. Billy had never talked to him that way but Billy always seemed to know just what to say and Steve realised that even with all his experience on the other side of this conversation he had no idea what to say. 

Billy took a deep breath and turned back towards Steve, he looked at him with intense eyes as Steve waited with bated breath for his response. Finally, Billy’s body relaxed slightly as he broke eye contact then he moved a little closer to Steve but he spoke down into his chest as though ashamed of what he had to say.

“There’s not much to say… my dad’s had a lot of free time lately and one of the things he’s got time for is criticising my life choices.”

Billy let out a short painful-sounding laugh then looked back at Steve with a despondent look. Billy had said very little about his home life, he’d usually just change the subject when it was brought up but Steve had always felt reluctance within him to go home. He couldn’t believe he’d been so selfish; Billy had always been there for him when he was struggling with his home life and even though he’d sensed something wasn’t right he’d never sought out the truth about Billy’s. He felt anger burning within him at his selfishness, at the suffering Billy had been hiding and he knew that he was going to do everything in his power to protect him in the future. He gently squeezed Billy’s shoulder.

“Come home with me.”

“But your dad…”

“Don’t worry about him.”

Billy looked at him with slight shock in his eyes before he leaned forward and pulled Steve into a bone-crushing hug as he felt Billy’s fingers weave their way into the back of his hair. He slightly stiffened at first as he wasn’t expecting it but as Billy pulled him closer and he felt him relax Steve took a deep breath and followed suit.

When he arrived home that day with Billy in tow he put him in his room and went straight to his mom. A short conversation later and she was as fired up as Steve was about Billy not being able to return home. 

“What about dad?”

“You leave him to me, don’t worry honey everything is going to be alright.”

His mom had a slight flush to her cheeks as she sat up in bed and smiled reassuringly at him. Steve knew everything would work out, his dad might be a cold, distant workaholic but the one thing he knew for sure was that he would never deny his mom anything.

“How is he?”

“A little quiet.”

His mom shook her head in disgust.

“You tell him if he needs anything just to let me know.”

“I will.”

“Oh Steve, will you sort him out with a room and I suppose he can borrow some of your clothes until we can sort him out with some new ones.”

Steve nodded although he couldn’t imagine Billy wearing any of his clothes. He leaned in to give his mom’s cheek a quick kiss then returned to Billy. He was spread out on Steve’s bed as though it were his own with his sunglasses firmly back on and a grim tilt to his mouth. Steve sat down beside him on the bed.

“Do you need anything?”

Billy shook his head.

“What room do you want?”

Billy looked back at Steve so quickly that he was sure he heard a crack in his neck. He then stared intently at him while his lips slightly twitched like he was trying to find a response but couldn’t.

“We have four extra rooms, there’s one downstairs, an attic room and two just down the hall although one of them is right next to my parent's room and my dad uses it sometimes when he works late so…”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, he works late a lot.”

Billy slightly firmed his jaw in response.

“Look I talked it over with my mom, she wants you to stay and her word is kinda final so don’t worry about my dad… there’s a room here if you want it no questions asked.”

Billy took a deep breath then smiled at Steve.

“So you gonna give me the tour or what Princess?”

Confusion clouded his mind as Steve was dragged from his sleep by a hand tightening over his chest, he felt a small jolt of panic before he remembered where he was and calmed down. Billy had been living with them for over a month now and he had settled into their lives as though he had always been there. Steve’s mom had officially adopted him, she beamed with happiness every time he wanted to spend time with her which was often. Billy seemed to renew his mother’s zest for life and they understood each other in a completely intuitive way, they didn’t need words to communicate almost like they could read each other’s minds. Billy seemed most at ease when he was with her; the sadness that still clouded his eyes from time to time was non-existent. 

Steve’s dad was the only downside to the whole thing, his mom had been firm that he was moving in with them but she did receive some push back from his dad. In the end, though she won although his dad didn’t hide his contempt so Billy had taken the attic room so that when the tension became too thick he could retreat to his little sanctuary away from everything. 

Under the cover of darkness, Billy had been sneaking down to spend his nights in Steve’s bed from shortly after he arrived. At first, he seemed content to just be sharing the same space as another person at night but over time he had migrated until Steve woke up most nights with Billy wrapped around him. Billy still hadn’t said much about his home situation but he assumed that he needed comfort but didn’t know how to ask for it so Steve never mentioned it, he assumed when Billy was ready he’d talk about it. Finding someone in his bed had been unnerving at first but over the past month Steve had grown accustomed to it, he’d even started to find some comfort in the human contact that these late-night visits provided. 

Tonight he felt a little overheated, Billy always ran a little hot whereas Steve’s natural body temperature was cool so sometimes it could get a little stuffy with Billy pressed up against him but he didn’t want to push him away. He decided that it would be best if he just wriggled gently out of Billy’s hold and hopefully he would stay asleep.

Steve made his breathing shallow as he attempted to move a small distance away but as he rolled about an inch out of Billy’s hold Billy suddenly brought his other arm around and twisted it firmly around Steve’s waist. He let out a soft sigh as he was now even more firmly in Billy’s grip and didn’t think it was going to be possible to get out easily. Billy squeezed his waist in his sleep as he moved even closer so that he was pressed right up against Steve making him start to sweat with how warm Billy’s skin was against his own slightly cooler body. 

He shivered slightly as he felt Billy’s clammy hot breath against the back of his neck and he pulled slightly away only for Billy to pull him back and then Steve froze as he felt that Billy was hard. He knew that it was just a natural reaction but he couldn’t help feeling embarrassed especially because Billy was asleep and the only way it seemed to stop this was to wake him and draw attention to it. So he attempted one last time to escape and spare them both the humiliation but as he pulled away he felt Billy moan against his neck as he realised too late that in his attempt to get away he had positioned his ass right up against Billy’s hard on. 

Billy began to gently thrust against him causing Steve to cease breathing altogether as Billy’s arms tightened around him and his breath became heavy on his neck. He couldn’t help the small thrill he felt buzzing under his skin as shameful pleasure filled his mind and he found himself pushing back against Billy just so he could feel his hard cock rubbing against him in a way that he never thought he’d enjoy but feeling how he was affecting Billy was making Steve feel light-headed and so for a few moments he just let himself get lost in the feeling. Billy moaned low against his neck then Steve was shocked to feel a small swipe of Billy’s wet tongue and he stopped dead. 

Billy kept going for a few moments longer as Steve fought against his instincts but the guilt was eating him up inside as he felt like he was taking advantage of Billy. They had kissed but that had been while they were drunk and Billy had never even hinted that he was interested in Steve as anything other than a friend. If he were being honest with himself he didn’t even know if he wanted Billy in that way, he just wanted to spend time with him, to have Billy’s attention and he felt like he just confusing that for other feelings and he didn’t want to lose him over something stupid like hormones. Finally, Billy stopped the only part of him that moved was his thumb as it rubbed over the small tattoo on his chest and Steve lay awake waiting for morning to come so that Billy would softly pull away and sneak back to his room as though nothing had happened and Steve could retreat into his thoughts.

It was a beautiful sunny Saturday when Billy suggested that they go for a drive, to get out of the house for a few hours. Steve had readily agreed, it was a rare day where his dad was home and he had nothing but complaints about Steve, everything he’d done since he'd woken up had been wrong and his mood was starting to reflect the constant badgering. As usual, Billy had read him right and understood that he needed to get away for a while. 

The sputtering sound his car made as he turned the key made his heart sink, he dreaded going in to tell his dad that his car was broken and then he’d have to stay inside the rest of the day with his dad’s increasingly sour mood. Billy leaned over and took the keys from the ignition as Steve desperately kept turning in the hope that something would change.

“Need a little help with your car Princess?” 

“I don’t understand it was fine yesterday.”

“Why don’t you pop the hood and I’ll take a look.”

“You know about cars?”

The smile on Billy’s face faltered for a second and Steve became worried that he’d said something wrong. Billy’s eyes took on a faraway look, Steve wondered what he was thinking about but left him alone for a few moments then Billy suddenly looked back at him with a sharp focus.

Yeah…my dad was always good with cars, he taught me.”

Steve sat silently and listened to Billy talk, his face was a little strained but Steve could sense that there was some happiness behind his eyes.

“Yeah he was could make a car do anything, he was better with them than people and I don’t think I ever saw him with a car that he couldn’t fix…or improve in some way.”

“If you want, we could just go for a walk or something or even stay in it’s fine.”

“No, I’m sure I can fix it…”

Steve leaned forward to gently squeeze his shoulder.

“It’s fine…”

Billy smiled sadly at him.

“No it’s just… at one time things were good…I would say we were happy, he seemed like he wanted a son but then after my mom…then things got better he got a good job came here but he always liked a drink until eventually, he loved to drink more than anything else and now it’s all he has…”

“It’s his loss.”

Billy looked at him so intensely that Steve felt a tingling on his skin just like the little buzz you felt just before a thunderstorm then his eyes softened slightly. 

“He’s just an angry and bitter old man drinking his way to an early grave.”

Even though Steve could hear the anger in Billy’s voice he could see a little sadness return to his eyes. He felt as though he could understand how Billy felt; his father had once been attentive, affectionate and so proud to have Steve as a son. He could remember looking forward to spending time with his parents, planning days out, and snuggled up on the couch watching films or listening to stories. 

However, as his mother grew sicker his father grew colder until Steve was alone looking after his mother and dreading the day when he was no longer needed. From the injury, he’d seen on Billy he figured that his dad was more forthright in his abuse that Billy probably bore the brunt of his father’s frustration, that he lived under the constant fear of violence at his father’s fists although Billy had never outright stated this.

“C’mon Princess let’s see what we’re dealing with.”

Steve watched Billy as he worked, all his tools neatly arranged, his slightly sweaty skin glistening in the sun as he tinkered under the hood and Steve became slightly mesmerised by the flexing in his strong arms. Billy seemed completely in his element smiling and telling Steve everything he was doing, Steve didn’t understand any of it as his knowledge about cars only extended to knowing it wasn’t running properly and he needed to tell his dad so he could arrange to have it fixed. He let himself get lost in the soft happy tone to Billy’s voice as he leaned against the car beside him.

“C’mere, Princess.”

Billy moved forward and pulled Steve by his arms until he was in front of Billy, he could feel the heat from the metal of the car in front of him and feel Billy’s sweaty solid body pressed up against his back. He ceased to breathe when Billy’s clammy slightly grease streaked face pressed up against his own as he leaned forward and started pointing out various parts of the engine, the vibrations from his voice distracting Steve from everything he was saying. 

Billy’s body ended up pressed up against Steve’s in a way that brought back memories from several nights ago; he could feel his breath becoming shorter as his head became light. His mind filling with images of Billy licking his neck, bending him forward a little more as he whispered in Steve’s ear about how good he was, the evidence of how he was affecting Billy too obvious to ignore. Unconsciously he moved his legs a little further apart and pushed himself back slightly so that they mirrored how they were the other night when he felt Billy’s fingers tightening on his hip.

Steve was yanked out of his little fantasy so quickly that he had to close his eyes so he wouldn’t stumble forward. He suddenly didn’t know how to move his arms, how to stand he felt so awkward like his skin had been pulled just a little too tight. He couldn’t believe he’d become so lost inside his head and taken a thing that Billy seemed to love and cheapened it making Billy uncomfortable in the process. He hoped that he could fix it. He slowly straightened up again so that he was no longer pressed against Billy and leaned further into the engine and pointed at the closet thing to him.

“What does this…do?”

He felt Billy laugh softly and he genuinely didn’t know what Billy was laughing at but it was probably his complete and utter lack of knowledge about cars. Billy then leaned in to tell him and Steve bit his lip hard as this put Billy’s body back in full contact with his own then he felt Billy’s fingers sliding back over his hip and he swallowed hard. 

“So are we good?”

“Yeah.”

“We still going for a drive?”

He felt Billy’s fingers tighten a fraction on his hip and he bit into his lip so hard he fully expected to feel the blood run down his chin.

“Anything you want Princess.”

They drove around aimlessly for a few hours just listening to music and talking about nothing. Steve felt it like a soothing balm on his soul; he wished more than anything that the last few years of his life could have been this pointless. His mother’s deteriorating health and his father’s distance had been huge factors of his life for more than two years, they loomed over everything, his thoughts, his interactions with other people even his dreams. 

Being with Billy like this was different, he put Steve at ease and helped him forget, and for a short while, he could just be a teenager with no responsibilities, wasting time on a Saturday. As the sun started to glow low in the sky they drove to the quarry but they stayed in the car, sharing their last cigarette before they’d inevitably have to go home.

“Ever been to the borderline?”

Steve looked over at Billy in shock, he was sure that he was going to make fun of him but his mother had always warned him about that part of town and he barely felt safe there during the day never mind once it was dark out. Billy smiled at him.

“We should go.”

“I dunno…”

Steve brought the cigarette up to his mouth in an attempt to stall his answer; he knew he was going to look stupid for not wanting to go. Billy leaned forward and snatched the cigarette from Steve’s lips and took a long draw.

“C’mon Princess live a little.”

It was so dark that he could barely see, smoke stinging his eyes as the music felt like it was vibrating in his bones. He was on his third drink and he was beginning to feel it in his head, he looked around but couldn’t see Billy even though it felt like he’d left ages ago to get them another drink. He felt someone nudge him in the side and looked round to see Therese smiling at him. She leaned in close to his ear, the tickle of her breath as she spoke directly into it made him shiver.

“Never thought I’d see you here.”

He pulled her closer so that she’d be able to hear him in return.

“Billy talked me into it.”

“Oh yeah, I saw him at the bar with Betty.”

Steve felt a little disappointment settle within him, as he now knew why Billy was taking so long. He looked back over at Therese as she smiled at him then something in his eyes must have spoken to her as she pulled him away from the wall and onto the dance floor. His limbs felt too heavy and clumsy for him to be able to dance properly but Therese didn’t seem to mind she just pulled him close and swayed to the music. When the song was over she pulled him over to a small alcove where she backed herself into the wall and pulled Steve over her as though she were hiding from someone. 

He felt confused until she smiled up at him then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a soft kiss. He felt a little shock then Therese positioned her head a little better and he just fell into the kiss without trying. At first, it was a gentle kiss then she started to kiss him a little more forcefully and he couldn’t help his mind from wandering to the last time someone had kissed him, soft lips, the hint of teeth, and then Billy’s tongue as the kiss turned vigorous. 

He could feel Billy’s weight bearing down on him as he was crushed into the wall with his strong fingers squeezing his hip and then he moaned and Therese slipped her tongue into his mouth and ran her fingers up into his hair. Steve was starting to feel a little warm, he couldn’t help wishing that he were the one in against the wall, that she would push a little harder, her fingers tightening in his hair and that he could feel the strength in her body as she kissed him, feel the passion she felt for him. 

Just as he started to bring his hand up to place it securely on her waist his arm was grabbed from behind and he was forcefully pulled away from Therese, he could just about see her shocked features as he was dragged away in an almost bruising grip. He stumbled after the person dragging him until he felt the chill from the night air as he was pulled around the side of the building and shoved against the wall coming face to face with Billy’s furious eyes. Steve stared back at Billy in confusion, why were they leaving? Did he fight with Betty?

“We’re leaving.”

“Why we just got here.”

This had been Billy’s idea in the first place why was he so eager to leave? Steve was just glad to be anywhere but at home right now. 

“We’ve been here long enough.”

“Well if you want to go fine but I’m staying.”

He didn’t know why he wanted to stay, he would have been happy to leave at any time but he didn’t want Billy bossing him around just because he wasn’t getting along with some girl he barely knew. He tried to move around Billy but he just crushed Steve into the wall with his much bigger body. Then he leaned down to whisper in his ear, much like Therese had done inside the bar but there was no noise out here.

“It’s time to go.”

Steve bit his lip as the heat from Billy’s body started to seep into his own, his breath felt clammy on his skin as Billy’s lips were only an inch away from his ear. He started to feel a little warm again, his mind flooding with images as it had during his kiss with Therese as he could feel his breath becoming heavier. 

“What were you planning anyway?”

“Planning?”

“Maybe get a quick awkward hand job…” 

Billy’s voice had a slight edge to it that Steve didn’t understand through the alcohol clouding his brain. Then Billy moved impossibly closer so that he was pressing Steve into the wall, the weight of his body was comforting, and unfortunately for Steve, he realized just how hot he was becoming when Billy’s thigh pushed in-between his own and he felt how hard he was against him. He held his breath as he waited for Billy to notice what was happening, he would become disgusted and walk away. He couldn’t believe that the friendship he’d built with him was going to fall apart because Steve couldn’t keep his hormones in check for one night. Billy took a deep breath, Steve stopped breathing altogether as he felt Billy chuckle softly and then his fingers slid into Steve’s hair and his breath was hot on his ear.

“So pretty Princess…”

Steve felt his heart sink as he realized that it was worse than he imagined, Billy could feel how he was affecting him and he was mocking him for it. He felt tears prick his eyes as he pushed an unsuspecting Billy aside and ran.

He stumbled into his room; barely able to breathe from the despair that was choking his heart. Why did he always fuck everything up? He knew Billy would be back at any moment and he was going to be beyond pissed at Steve for everything, he decided that he’d lock himself in the basement room for the night when he came face to face with Billy just outside his room. Billy’s face was stoic, he wasn’t too sure what he was thinking but his intense gaze was firmly on Steve, he decided that he was going to be aloof, just dismissive about everything, and then they’d hopefully sleep it off and talk properly tomorrow when they’d calmed down. He tried to walk around Billy but he stood firm like a well-built wall then he advanced so that Steve had to retreat into his room, his heart stopped when Billy closed the door behind him.

“What do you want?”

He cried out of complete misery, he didn’t want to end their friendship over this, why couldn’t they talk tomorrow? Billy didn’t answer him; he just stood like an immovable object. He started to panic, he could feel himself starting to sweat and his heart was hammering in his chest so hard he was sure Billy could hear it. 

“Seriously Billy I don’t have time for this.”

“Got something better to do.”

“Yeah, sleep.”

Billy moved forward slightly and Steve took a hasty step back until his legs came up against his bed behind him. The panic within him started to rise like a wave as he felt like he was choking slightly; he needed to get rid of Billy.

“Just fuck off, ok.”

“For tonight or forever?”

This was it, he was trying so hard to hold everything together but the inevitable was going to happen anyway. He became frozen; he couldn’t answer so he looked away instead.

“It must be so hard living like a little pampered princess in your giant castle.”

Steve felt anger start to bubble up from within him, how could he throw that in his face? He lived here too and he knew exactly what Steve’s life was like.

“Leave…”

“Your mom seems to want me to stay.”

“That’s only because she feels sorry for you like you’re a little stray dog.”

“What about you, Princess?”

“What about me?”

Billy walked up close to Steve until he could feel the heat radiating off his skin against Steve’s much cooler body.

“Am I a little stray to you?”

Steve tried to pull away but Billy just grabbed his shoulders and pulled him even closer while maintaining eye contact.

“Why don’t you show me?”

Steve took a shaky breath then Billy closed the distance between them and captured Steve’s lips with his own. This kiss didn’t start soft or slow, it felt like Billy was attempting to devour him and Steve couldn’t help wanting to be eaten. Billy pulled Steve flush against his body, his strong arms wrapped around him until Steve couldn’t keep his feet on the ground anymore and Billy pulled them onto the bed.

Billy wasted no time in divesting Steve of his shirt, ripping it off and throwing it behind him he then placed increasingly frenzied kisses over Steve’s jaw and down his neck and chest. Finally, he reached the place where Steve’s tattoo adorned his chest and placed a few gentle kisses on it before introducing his teeth.

“Fuck, I want you so bad Princess.”

Billy sucked hard on the tattoo, pulling the skin in-between his lips where the edges of his teeth scraped against it making Steve’s breath stutter in his lungs. He then kissed his way back up to reclaim Steve’s mouth once more.

“Tell me you want it.”

Steve was beginning to feel completely overwhelmed; he’d never imagined that Billy wanted him too.

“Yes Billy, I want it, I want you so much, please…”

He felt Billy moving down his body pulling all his clothes off and he felt a little panicked, he’d never done anything like this before but he knew that he wanted Billy more than anything else. He just hoped that he lived up to any expectations that Billy had about him. He felt a slight chill and realized that he was completely naked but Billy’s body heat was gone and he looked up to find him gone, his heart sank.

“Billy?”

“I’m right here Sweetheart.”

In the dim light of the room he could see that Billy had also lost his clothes, his well-defined muscles stood out starkly from the shadows and Steve desperately wanted to look down at his body but he was too nervous. Billy moved forward to set down a bottle of some sort on the bed and Steve felt mesmerized by the flex and flow of his muscles, he must look so scrawny in compassion to Billy. He felt gentle fingers on his face and looked up into Billy’s adoring gaze. 

“You’re so beautiful, Princess.”

“Billy, I…”

Billy leaned down to give him a long indulgent kiss and Steve felt himself relax slightly.

“Don’t worry it’s just you and me.”

Steve swallowed hard.

“I’ve never done anything like this, I don’t know…”

“I’ll take care of you, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Billy climbed back on top of him, his warm weight a welcome return for Steve, he felt safe and comforted. He wound his fingers into Billy’s curls using them to pull him closer into a soft kiss, which quickly turned passionate, he still felt butterflies in his stomach but he trusted Billy completely. Billy started kissing and biting his way back down Steve’s body until he once again reached the tattoo which he gave extra attention, for Steve that piece of skin was starting to get very sensitive so as Billy ran his teeth across it for the umpteenth time he moaned loudly and Billy gave it a last lingering kiss as he moved further down his body.

He could feel Billy’s hot breath and sharp teeth as he moved down, his hands running over every last inch of him until he felt his fingers dig into just under his knees and pull them wide open. Then a whisper of breath on his inner thigh before the hot swipe of his tongue followed by his sharp teeth. Steve started to tremble as he cried out from overstimulation.

“Billy…Billy please…”

Billy moved back up his body, Steve shivered feeling all of Billy’s hard muscles and warm soft skin before he lay completely atop him and he moaned as he felt how turned on Billy was. He couldn’t believe that Billy wanted him this much, that he inspired these feelings within him but he was immensely happy that it was the case.

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

Billy bit down on Steve’s lip and when he cried out he kissed him harshly. Then he kissed his way back to Steve’s chest as he felt something slippery rubbing around his rim and he pulled away.

“It’s ok, Baby, I just need to get you ready.”

Steve felt a little confusion but he allowed Billy to push his finger inside him while he bit his lip and Billy watched him intently, it felt kind of strange but not completely unpleasant so he nodded at Billy who smiled then went back to his chest. Steve let the sensation of Billy’s moans against his skin lull him into a dreamlike state. A particularly harsh suck from Billy and Steve felt a second finger work its way into him and he couldn’t help squirming slightly at the odd full feeling. He felt Billy’s tongue laving over his chest as he groaned softly.

“Fuck you’re so tight, Princess.”

When Billy moved up to three fingers he wound the fingers of his other hand into the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck pulling his head back so that Steve gasped out loud and Billy swallowed all the sounds that he couldn’t help making as Billy got him ready. Steve started to feel warm all over as he started to shiver satisfyingly and he couldn’t help whimpering into Billy’s mouth. 

He bit down softly on Billy’s lip as he felt tingling at the base of his spine and he started to push back against the fingers that were bringing him so much pleasure. He brought his fingers up into Billy’s hair as the pleasure began to spread out through his body, a pleasant humming under his skin.

“Billy…I need you…so much…”

Billy moved and then he felt him starting to push in, the pressure started to feel unbearable and Steve’s eyes became wide and he saw Billy’s eyes intent on his face as he slowly pushed inside.

“You feel so good…”

Billy pushed forward to capture Steve’s lips swallowing his cries as he started a slow and steady pace. At first, he just felt full and a little uncomfortable then Billy slowed down even slower, his kisses became slow and soft until he pushed up against something inside Steve that made that little shock under his skin return. Billy started to increase his speed and the little shock turned into a swarm of bees under his skin as he wrapped his arms around Billy. The kiss soon became more passionate as Steve got completely lost in everything that Billy was doing to him.

He never would have believed that Billy would feel this way about him, he could have anyone but when he looked up at him now all he could see was adoration shining in his eyes, he could feel reverence in how his fingers caressed over his skin and his lips quivered slightly when he kissed him. Steve felt completely overwhelmed but he also felt the warmth within him that was growing, security when he was with Billy, he knew by this point that he could trust him with anything. It was a trust forged in pain, shared cigarettes and caresses in the dark. 

He thought about how his life had seemed so blunted around the edges, on a one-way track like he was living inside a box that someone had poked a few holes in so at least he wouldn’t die but he wouldn’t live either. It was like he was sitting in a waiting room waiting for his mother to die and his father to finally take over his life.

“You Ok Princess?”

Billy looked down at him with concern in his eyes. Steve smiled back at him then snuggled into Billy’s chest as his arms tightened around him.

The next day freshly showered and standing in front of his mirror while he attempted to get his hair under control Steve couldn’t help running his fingers over all the bruises left by Billy’s teeth on his skin. The gentle brush of his fingers gave him a small jolt of sensation while his mind replayed exactly how they came to be. He tried to ignore it but finally, he moved them up to the sensitive swollen skin of his tattoo, it almost looked like it was mauled by a vicious animal, slightly red around the edges and when his fingers skate over it he feels his breath catch in his throat and his head swim.

He looked at it carefully for probably the first-ever time, the original physical proof of his relationship with Billy when they had been blood brothers before Billy mapped out his body with his teeth. The tattoo is stark against his pale skin as it has always been but with the help of Billy’s teeth, it now seems like it stands on its own bloody and bruised pedestal. As his fingers reach the top where the crown curves back into itself he has to blink a few times as he’s sure that hidden within it is a subtle B, almost like Billy’s initial has been branded onto his skin this whole time, a little B on a pedestal just above his heart. He laughed softly to himself, he needed to stop letting his imagination get the better of him.

Now at night, he lies in wait filled with anticipation and barely able to breathe as he waits for Billy to sneak into his room and take him apart while he tries to muffle his moans so that his parents won’t hear. It’s harder in the daylight as he desperately wants to touch him even just to hold his hand, he can feel the need thrumming under his skin but it’s far too risky. Billy also seems like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, it’s a subtle change but Steve knows what to look for. He can see how much more comfortable he is within their home, his shoulders are relaxed and that small hint of sadness has completely left his eyes now they shine bright and happy. Steve never wants to see him sad ever again and vows to himself that he’ll do everything in his power to keep him that way.

The angry tone of his father’s voice made Steve pause outside their room.

“I’m not going to stand for this in my own house.”

“You’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion.”

He jumped slightly as something hit the floor with a huge thud.

“How can you say that? Do you understand what this means for this family, Steve needs to a leader, someone that other people can look up to and put their faith in completely, you think that’s going to happen now?”

He heard his mother sigh heavily.

“You don’t even know if this is true and it doesn’t change our son…”

“Don’t be naïve Carlotta, nobody in this town would ever take him seriously, our family would be ruined.”

Steve felt a chill on the back of his neck like someone had rubbed an ice cube there as the silence stretched on.

“I’m sending him away, I’ve found a good boarding school in Switzerland that focuses on business, it’s about time he started taking some responsibility around here.”

“No.”

“I’m not debating this.”

“I…have so little time left, you can’t take my son from me…”

“He’ll be home on holidays…”

He heard his mother’s voice break and his heart sank, as he knew that she was crying.

“There has to be some other solution, I mean even if you’re right…he’s happy…”

“Happy? Are you fucking serious? I heard them, Carlotta, he’s letting that fucking degenerate fuck him like some common…”

Steve recoiled in shock and ran away from the door as quickly as he could until he reached his room then he fell upon his bed and cried, he cried until all that was left were hiccups and his burning lungs.

Steve took a deep breath as Billy killed the ignition and he risked a glance at him from across the car. It was a slightly clammy moonlit night and Steve had suggested a drive as what he had to say he wanted to be between them with no interruptions. He’d told Billy to drive, as he wasn’t feeling up to it, just told him to take them somewhere secluded and private. He looked around him just beyond the car in the soft glow of the moon he could see the dense forest. Billy looked at him with inquisitive eyes and Steve felt dread in the pit of his stomach. 

“What’s wrong, Princess?”

Tears blurred his vision, as he knew that he was going to break the secret promise he’d made to Billy. He felt so torn, like his father’s actions were tearing him apart right down the middle between the two people he cared about the most. He only hoped that he and Billy could meet up again someday whereas his mother was on borrowed time and he knew that it would kill him to abandon her.

“My dad…he…knows about us…”

Steve looked down into his chest as he felt the tears overflow and run down his cheeks, they felt hot and itchy and he hated them. Gentle fingers nudged under his chin and he looked up to Billy’s soft smile.

“It’s ok Princess we just need to be more discreet.”

Steve shook his head sadly.

“No, he’s threatening to send me away…to boarding school and…I…can’t…my mom…”

All of the emotions that he was trying so desperately to push down forced their way up, he felt profound sadness, heartache, anger and despair and they escaped him in deep shuddering sobs and he fell forward onto Billy’s solid comforting chest. He felt Billy’s arms wrap around him as his fingers carded through his hair.

“Don’t worry Princess, I’m always going to take care of you.”

“But Billy…”

“Shh…nothing’s going to happen, it’s just you and me.”

Steve just curled up tighter into Billy’s embrace, he hoped that he was right because when Steve’s dad became determined about something nobody else on this earth was ever more stubborn. He was a man who was used to getting what he wanted, most of his days were spent ordering his underlining’s about and if you weren’t quick enough you were gone. Steve didn’t want to choose but he knew deep down that his mother needed him and although he believed that he enriched Billy’s life, he also knew that Billy would be fine without him.

The next few hours Billy comforted Steve, very little was said with words, it was mostly reassuring touches and the warm weight of Billy’s body. Eventually, Steve became desperate he wanted to feel something other than pain or despair so he let Billy fuck him over the hood of the car that his father had bought him for his sixteenth birthday. It felt slightly thrilling to be out in the open, illuminated by only moonlight on a road deep in the forest but still where someone could see Steve being driven to incoherency by Billy Hargrove. He wanted more than anything to dent the car, dent it so that it was impossible not to know what had happened on it while it sat innocently in their driveway and that his dad had to walk by it every morning on the way to his car. 

Billy seemed to be possessed by something also, his teeth bit a little harder, his fingers squeezed his hips until his bones ached and the weight of his body was verging on suffocating. He’d started off kissing Steve with great enthusiasm while telling him how he was his and he’d never let anything come between them, which thrilled Steve more than it should have under these circumstances. Eventually, though Billy’s attention was on Steve’s chest, more specifically his tattoo, which he lavished with, kisses and bites, it almost felt as though he were trying to consume it. Steve secretly wished that he would, just rip it completely from his body even if it left an ugly scar as looking at that small crown after this was going to be so painful.

Steve locked his car and walked up towards his house as his feeling of dread increased. Over the past week, he’d been slowly closing himself off from everyone except for his mother. Billy had tried to continue their relationship in secret but after the night in the forest, Steve had sadly resigned himself to his fate, he would have to live like his dad until his mom finally succumbed to her illness. Billy had snuck into his room, as usual, that night a few hours after they’d returned, Steve felt so broken inside when he had to tell him to leave, at first Billy refused he even gave Steve several forceful kisses and he almost gave in. Then he thought of his mother, dying all-alone in this big empty house and he turned his heart to stone. He saw anger flash in Billy’s eyes before he stormed from the room but after a couple of days of Steve’s cold shoulder he got the message and only left his attic room to eat and spend time with Steve’s mom when Steve wasn’t there.

He’d finally bit the bullet and had a long conversation with his father the night before; it was the most fraught and uncomfortable conversation of his life that was filled with lies and empty promises. He blamed his entire relationship with Billy on teenage rebellion and feeling sad over his mother’s health, he’d just felt sorry for Billy and it had only happened a few times when they’d been drunk. He even convinced him possibly due to his dad wanting to believe it so desperately that they’d never had full sex, he seemed so relieved that Steve wanted to be sick. 

In the end, he told him that he wanted to start going to the office with him a few times a week after school after all he needed to learn the family business from the ground up. His dad had agreed and given him one of the most strained hugs that he’d ever had the displeasure to experience. Steve and his mom had had a private conversation where she agreed to get his dad to allow Billy to continue living there as a companion to her so at least he wouldn’t have to return home.

Steve pushed open the door only to be shocked that there was a police officer on the other side that gave him a stern look. Steve was sure the confusion was written across his face as the man approached him.

“Do you live here?”

“Yeah.”

“Name.”

“Steve…Harrington.”

Suddenly the man’s features softened slightly and Steve felt his dread increase.

“What’s happened?”

The man gently touched his shoulder.

“Follow me, son.”

Steve walked after the man in a bit of a daze, he said a silent prayer inside his head that his mother was ok, they passed by a few more policemen then entered his mother’s room. Inside was a man in a suit, Doctor Horne, his mother’s usual physician with his mother lying almost motionless on the bed. His mother looked so tiny on the giant bed surrounded by all these people, he could see that her face held a certain pallor and that her makeup was slightly smudged and he knew something was deeply wrong. Doctor Horne saw him and walked briskly towards him pulling him into a slightly awkward hug as he patted him on the back.

“I’m so sorry if you or your mother need anything I’m just a phone call away, day or night, don’t hesitate.” 

“What… happened?”

The doctor pulled back to face him and Steve saw the sadness in his eyes.

“It’s your father, there’s been an accident… his car I’m afraid he didn’t make it.”

Steve felt a deep coldness settle over him as he became numb to everything around him.

Steve awoke in his dimly lit room several hours later feeling like he’d been in bed for a month. His entire body ached like he hadn’t moved in a long time, his throat felt scratchy and burned when he swallowed and his head throbbed in time with his heart. He wasn’t even too sure how he got here, not that it mattered he just wanted to wake up and discover that this was all a horrible dream. That his mind had supplied this solution to his recent problems because he was so annoyed at his dad for trying to ruin his life. Your mind could play cruel tricks like that on you because, in reality, Steve had always secretly hoped that one day his dad would realize that money and business weren’t everything and they could be a family once more.

They had all been close once, enjoyed each other’s company and cared about how they were doing. Things had started to suffer when his grandfather had died and his dad had to take over the company but he’d still made time for them. Then his mom got sick and for some reason, his dad couldn’t face it, the woman he’d loved for so long and built a life with was fading and getting sicker and he became cold and distant. 

Steve closed his eyes against the fresh tears that started when he thought about being a child and waiting by the door listening for his dad’s car driving up the driveway. His dad would always scoop him up and listen as he excitedly recounted everything he’d done that day no matter what his day had been like. He made time for him and made him feel special and Steve had always wanted to get back to them being that way, free and open with each other. He knew that it would take time and effort on both their parts but he’d always been hopeful, now it was too late.

He felt sad for the relationship that he’d lost and for the fact that his mother wouldn’t be with him for very much longer and then Steve would be all-alone, just him and the business that he didn’t feel qualified to run with all those people who would rely on him for their livelihoods.

Steve rolled over to burrow himself further into his blankets in the hope that he could delay the inevitable when he’d have to go and face the cold hard reality that his life now was. He jumped slightly when he felt gentle fingers run through his hair and he looked up in shock to find Billy hovering over him. 

“Billy?”

“Hello, Princess.”

Steve felt his lip tremble and he turned over fully and opened his arms hoping that Billy could forgive his recent behaviour and comfort him. Billy smiled softly and got onto the bed pulling Steve under him and wrapping his arms around him. He could feel his fingers in his hair, his breath hitched slightly as he felt a soft brush against his tattoo. He burrowed further into Billy’s chest taking all the comfort he could; he didn’t want to have to talk or think just use Billy as a shield against the world for a short while.

“Don’t worry Princess, it’s just me and you.”


End file.
